Tuesday, October 7, 2008

On Miss Manners and Parking

Commutebybike had an interesting post today about "The etiquette of bicycle parking". As a former messenger, I'm not a good person to emulate, or
ask for advice. I'd lock up to the first halfway decent thing I could find, make my drop and/or pickup, and then amscray to the next one. Time is money when you ride for a living (also true when you race). If I scratched something, blocked a passage,
or pissed people off, it really didn't matter too much.

I did learn quite a bit about the art of parking my ride, how to lock it up
effectively, how to swear in a humorous, and colorful manner, and ride a bicycle in city traffic. Lessons that came in handy when I started to work in an
office and chose to commute by bicycle

I didn't bother sharing any of this info with the folks on the post, instead prefering to tame it down a bit for mass consumption, as follows:


"A few random thoughts on this:

1) Bikes in an office space are not "icky". "Icky" is the sight of 5 foot tall, 350lb people wearing tight jeans and stretch pants.

2) Lycra in the office is no problemo, provided the wearers are height/weight proportional. If not, see comment #1.

3) Over the years of using a bicycle for transportation, I've locked my ride to everything from trees to statues to parking meters to abandoned car bumpers. I've had to dress for work in bathroom stalls, storage rooms, conference rooms, and boiler rooms that smelled like a zoo. It's VERY encouraging to see so many businesses providing lockers and shower facilities. And allowing us to protect our
rides by bringing them inside. Too many bicycles get stolen nowadays.

4) My wife works in a bike shop, rides to work every day, and just brings hers inside. We plan on opening a shop next year. All employees will always be
allowed to bring their bicycles inside. AND given a bonus for riding to work. After all, why would you want to buy a bicycle for commuting from a sales person who drives a car to work?"



Why indeed? Mrs Flyer is the only one in her bike shop that rides a bicycle to work on a daily basis. One of her co-workers did for a short time, as have others. But
not day in and day out. The majority simply give their bicycles a ride to work, attached to their cars.

I do feel for these people. They have lives that are "too busy" to easily fit in riding a bicycle. Or, they are intimidated by the traffic where they live. Or they really WANT to ride, but Something Always Comes Up during the day, and the opportunity to ride is lost.

My advice is always the same - Park Your Car for a week, and try riding instead. You will find it's possible, no matter what the circumstance. Not always easy, perhaps. But possible if you put your mind to it and just get on and ride.

Driving your bicycle around on your car reminds me of when you were a little kid and wore your football helmet when you watched the game with your Dad. Cute, yes.
But it didn't make you a football player.

You became a football player when you snapped the helmet on that first day in High School practice, and then went out on the field and whaled the crap out of your teammates and they whaled the crap out of you.

But I digress. Mrs Flyer and I will always be out on the fringe of the rapidly coalescing Bicycle Commuter scene. We are both a hellish combination of former racers, past and present wrench spinners, ex-cowboy and ex-cowgirl,
Critical Mass riders, track riders, and fixed gear fiends. Just add Jack Daniels to complete the mental image.

So the possibility of joining in with the company Bicycle/Ped Coordinator on a Courtesy Mass ride is something that is completely, and utterly, doomed from the start. After reading a few of the other comments on the "Bike Etiquette" post,
I'm considering bringing a typical Messenger "rain bike" ride to work and locking it up to my desk.

We have the perfect frame for this in our stable of rides at the Flyer homestead: a beaten-to-crap maroon 1980's KHS frame we picked up a few years ago on eBay for $30.00 and made into a fixed gear. Scratched all to hell, it's appearence has been
enhanced by Tampa Bay Bucaneers Football Stickers, Phil's Tenacious Oil streaks, a "Somewhere in Texas a Village is Missing It's Idiot" bumper sticker on the top tube, and the obligatory "One Fucking Speed" chainstay sticker.

Just the thing for the department full of Soccer Moms and Young Career Dads that I work with while we are getting ready to open our shop.

After all - it's the perfect counterpoint to the average bloated Suzy Sixpack SUV. And it's only fair - us criminal, fringe, bicycle riders should be represented in the workplace, too.

No one would say anything to me. Our Human Resource person already avoids me
like Hemmoraghic Fever, so I wouldn't hear anything from her. She's worried I'll push for bicycle racks again, and with the push to outsource and downsize jobs, everyone is running scared around here.

Better not to say anything at all, and just act like you don't notice
anything. Otherwise the Crazy Guy who rides a bicycle instead of driving a car will want us to give him $20 a month for riding his bike to work, and, well, we simply can't have that now, can we?

All in a days work for us. Right now, both of us are much more excited about this month's Critical Mass ride, since it coincides with Halloween.
Mrs Flyer rode into work today and found out that a new costume shop just opened up around the corner, so it's just all too perfect. Do the Mass, then out to Oregon for a month of wrench spinning.

We'll leave the question of bicycle parking etiquette to Miss Manners. Just don't forget the chainstay stickers.